BREAKING: The Duck and Bunny Merges With Frog and Toad, Becoming Law Firm

PROVIDENCE, R.I.- In a shocking twist, beloved local brunch and cupcake spot The Duck and Bunny will be merging with East Side trinket and knickknack shop, Frog and Toad. To make matters even more head scratching for this unlikely merger, they will becoming a law firm, and will now go by Frog, Duck, Toad and Bunny.

Dexter Toad, one half of Frog and Toad, gave a brief press conference Monday morning to reveal that this rumor was in fact truth. "I know that people are probably confused as to why we are doing this, but all four of us have had a passion for justice, which we feel we can bring to citizens of Rhode Island. Also, have you seen how much divorce rates are going up? Business is booming!"

Ronald Taylor, of Gano Street is very upset that this will mean the end of Frog and Toad. "Now where am I going to go for all my Christmas, Birthday and Flag Day shopping? That place was chock full o' doo-dads, knickknacks and shenanigans! You walked in and you felt like you were stepping into a Wes Anderson film. I think I'll miss the whimsey the most. Not many places can give you feelings of whimsey like that anymore. Sad!"

Toad kept to his prepared statement and didn't answer any further questions, leaving everyone to wonder why they wouldn't just become a brunch and trinket shop.

Megan Thompson, a Junior at Providence College was very upset with The Duck and Bunny for leaving the world of brunch for law. "Like, it's totally ridiculous. Like, where else can I find a cupcake bar in Providence? I came to PC from Bergen County, New Jersey solely on the strong Brunch Scene in Providence. This is literally like the most devastating thing to happen to me," her rant continued on for another 22 minutes before she ended it with "I don't get this. Like who needs justice? Me and my friends just want to take selfies and pictures of our adorable food and teacups, and like, now we have to like, check Yelp for a different brunch spot. I'm literally going to like, die."

There is no word yet on when the Frog Duck Toad and Bunny will begin practicing law, as all four members of the firm first need to go to law school.

Gov. Raimondo To Install Progress Sign To Replace a Brick

PROVIDENCE, R.I.- Have you noticed these Rhode Works Progress signs throughout Providence? One project in particular is under scrutiny for being deemed 'over the top'.

Get Ready For One on Benevolent Street

Benevolent Street will have a Rhode Works progress sign put up soon, after Governor Gina Raimondo vowed to fix a missing brick from the sidewalk, both on time and under budget.

"These fine citizens of Providence deserve to walk this brick sidewalk without the slight possibility of twisting an ankle, or stubbing a toe. Sidewalks are roads for the people" Governor Raimondo said, " so it is vital that this project is completed as soon as possible, and to cost the taxpayers as few dollars as possible. We will get this one done!"

Johnny Pallucci seems to be confused over the need for a progress sign for this certain project. "I mean sure, it's a nice sign. Nice shade of green in those circles. Of course, that's only if the two bricks are under budget and are installed on time. I just don't see why we need a sign to tell us how it's going. Shouldn't take more than... I dunno. 30 seconds tops".

The project in question.

Florence Richards agreed with Mr. Pallucci about the sign being over the top. "I just think this is a cheap way to make 100% sure that a project in Providence will indeed get finished on time and under budget! The sign probably costs more than what it would to fix those two bricks. I do admit, it's a handsome looking sign, though."

As for the sign, it is rumored that it will indicate the project cost at somewhere between $3-$5, and the 'Done' portion will aim for 'Tomorrow'.

Victor Weinstein agrees with Governor Raimondo's desire for a Progress sign for such a small project. "There ain't much room there for that sign, so it'll be on the sidewalk. I'm gonna have a lot of fun watching these nerds from Brown smack their noggins against it while they're on their phones doing their math homework. Not enough of these signs around town if you ask me".

Needless to say, Raimondo will have plenty to answer if this project, also, fails to make both deadlines.

Proposed Arcade Rejected By Arcade Over Too Much Irony

Winds of Change at the Arcade?

PROVIDENCE, RI - Is there such a thing as too much irony? Apparently for Marylou Ebbetts, Vice President of the Arcade, there sure is.

Ebbetts, who oversees the leases for the Providence Arcade, was not very pleased to come across an application for a tenant who wanted to put an arcade inside of the Arcade. Yesterday, Ebbetts received notice that Dave Starr wanted to rent out a space and fill it up with classic video games. Starr said, "Well, you know. It makes sense. I remember as a kid going to the Arcade and being bummed out that I couldn't play Street Fighter or even NBA Jam. I would've settled for Ms. Pacman back then."

Ebbetts was unsure how to receive the application when it first arrived on her desk. "I thought it was my sister-in-law, Roberta. She's a riot, and I thought it was one of her pranks! I will not let such a historic building like the Arcade be mocked. The Arcade is no place for an arcade," she said, all worked up.

As for Starr's future, he says that now that he can't get a space for his arcade in the Arcade, he is simply giving up. "I mean, what's the point?" he asked, "it won't be ironic if I put it anywhere else".

Ebbetts remains faithful that a serious tenant will come around shortly to fill the empty space, formerly occupied by 90's vintage store 'All Pogs Go To Heaven'. Ebbetts made it a point that future tenants need to be serious, and also make money, along with paying rent on time. When asked about the irony behind the popular Arcade restaurant Rogue Island, Ebbetts froze for a moment, muttered a 'dammit' under her breath and claimed she had no comment.

Man Blames Point Tavern For All 23 Tinder Dates Failing

PROVIDENCE, RI - A Fox Point man is pointing the figure at a local bar for the reason why he has failed to secure a second date from his 23 Tinder tries, all at the same establishment.

Randy Danielson, 27, claims the Point Tavern is the reason for his current misery in the dating-app world. "It just doesn't make any sense. I'm a catch! Everyone says so. It's even right there, in my Tinder bio. It's gotta be the Point," says Danielson. He claims he only takes his Tinder dates there, while he takes his Bumble and Hinge dates to various locations.

When asked why he keeps going to the Point after 23 tries, Danielson said "You know, Tinder is the classiest of the group. This place has a patio, a white wine selection, and the TV is turned off more often than not, so it should work like a charm." When asked, Jodi Larson, bartender at the Point on most Wednesdays, and every other Friday, recognized Mr. Danielson right away.

"Oh God, that dope. I've seen him 'forget his wallet' more times than I can remember. He's referred to around here as The Bar Tool, you know, cause he's a tool. I also seem to remember him getting a drink thrown in his face when he told one woman that Gilmore Girls is the reason for this country going into the crapper."

While Mr. Danielson seems pessimistic about the Point, others seem to think that he, in fact, may be the problem instead of the bar. One anonymous patron said that he went to college with Danielson, and his Douchebaggery usually led to the demise of many a conversation with females. He also added that the Point is a fine establishment, and shouldn't be blamed for anything. Danielson, however, disagrees, saying "It can't be me. I workout 13 times a week. See these lats? Solid as tree bark. There is no possible way it's me. I bet it's a curse. This place sucks. I'm going to try again until 27, because that's a prime number, and if that doesn't work, I dunno, I guess I'll try Johnny Rocket's or somethin'"

No word yet if Danielson knows the Johnny Rocket's Thayer Street location has closed. 

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This is the ghost of Buddy Cianci. The only man who can somehow remain heard, even from beyond the grave. I figure since political news is the dumps, good ol' Buddy should come back and report highly unreliable news in true parody form. This blog will is for fun, and this is also a disclaimer that these will be totally made up news reports, with the occasional real report every once in a while (and by once in a while I really mean never in a while). So sit down with a heapin' helpin' of penne with Buddy's marinara sauce, pop up a couple Gansett's, and enjoy the tongue in cheek FAKE NEWS regarding your favorite, and my favorite little city, Providence, Rhode Island. You can also find me in my office, on the 27th floor of the Superman building, kinda floating through the hall, and on Instagram, whatever the hell that is, at @Buddy_Ciancis_Ghost and on Twitter @Ghost_of_Buddy (those bastards have a 15 character name limit).

This will be as rocky as my redemption tour.

-Ghost of Buddy

Boo.